Keillor and Bush: Taxpayer-funded stadiums rock!

When it comes to former President George W. Bush, Garrison Keillor and Michael Moore agree: they don't like him. Not one tiny bit.

So I was quite surprised to read Keillor's recent ode to brand-new, taxpayer-funded Target Field. The Minnesota Twins' new outdoor baseball palace in downtown Minneapolis is set to open April 10. According to a recent Keillor column, which I am not linking here because I cannot find it online, Keillor rode his bike around downtown and paused to admire Target Field's beauty.

One learns in great detail in the book Field of Schemes that taxpayer-funded stadiums are a ploy for the super-rich (owners and players) to enjoy a massive subsidy from working stiffs. In the last two decades, billions of tax dollars went to build dozens of stadia for football, baseball, basketball and hockey across the country. The government waste is often astounding: Maryland built two outdoor football-only stadia 35 miles apart. Before becoming governor of Texas, George W. Bush failed at almost every business opportunity he tried, even when his father's wealthy friends gave him considerable seed money. His one business triumph was the Texas Rangers baseball team. The taxpayers of the Metroplex (Dallas, Ft. Worth and Arlington) built a new ballpark for the Rangers, expecting the Rangers to pay rent for the use of the facility. The Rangers simply tacked a rent surcharge on tickets so the fans end up paying the rent. Even better for the Rangers, the team will own the ballpark outright when the leasing agreement expires in a few years. Bush cashed out with a tidy profit when he sold his share of the team.

Keillor, supposedly a champion of the working man and dyed-in-the-wool liberal, thinks taxpayers building stadia for wealthy owners and players is a great idea. Or is it just in this one instance, for his beloved Minnesota Twins? Did he put his team in front of principle?

I'm still dumbfounded by the Twins playing in a ballpark exposed to the Minneapolis weather in April, May and September. The owners should certainly have paid an extra $100 million for a retractable dome. I certainly understand the team's desire to leave the aging Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome (now Mall of America Field). Derided as a "Baggie," the "Rollerdome" (Mike Ditka) or, in Keillor's column, "a basement," it was no place for baseball. But why should fans pay good money to sit in 30-degree temperatures for three hours? After the novelty of the new ballpark wears off, the Twins might want to reserve the Metrodome for cold-weather games.

Two quick stadium predictions

I. If Cubs' owner Tom Ricketts moves the club's spring training facilities from Mesa, Ariz., to Naples, Fla., I suspect most Cubs fans who make an Arizona visit an annual rite of spring will go to Naples once and never return. They're not interested in the traffic, the overcrowding, or the New Yorkers who take over Florida at that time of year. They'll find out the hard way: a wasted spring vacation. The following year, they'll go back to Arizona and attend White Sox and Dodgers games.

II. Within the next five years, the Minnesota Vikings will successfully force the people of Minnesota to pay for a new retractable-roof stadium; or they will move to Los Angeles. A billionaire in L.A. has an offer on the table: he'll build an $800 million stadium if a team moves. Could be the Vikings. Could be the Jaguars. Could be the Bills. Move fast--beat the others! If the Vikings are stuck and the voters keep saying no, I wonder how much money the team is willing to invest to renovate dilapidated, outdated, decrepit, aging Mall of America Field (f/k/a Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome). The stadium's two other tenants, the Twins and Golden Gophers, moved out. The Gophers played in new TCF Stadium this season, and the Twins will open Target Field in April. They are both outdoor stadia. The Vikings want an indoor-outdoor palace like the ones in Houston, Dallas, Phoenix and Indianapolis. We'll see. Is the Metrodome paid for yet?

Minnesota Twins way off target with Target Field

The Minnesota Twins had been trying to blackmail the people of Minnesota into buying them a new ballpark for about a decade. From their inception in the 1960's to 1981, I think, they played in Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington, Minn. They moved into the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome for the 1982 season, along with the Vikings. Bloomington blew up Metropolitan Stadium in 1991 or so to make room for the Mall of America. You can still see home plate inside the Mall. The Metrodome became obsolete for the Twins by the early '90's, when their American League rivals began moving into new ballparks. The Tribe, the Orioles, the Rangers, the White Sox--oh, those cute ballparks with all those profitable skyboxes! And the Twins were stuck with the Metrodome, courtesy of the taxpayers, which was built with no skyboxes. (The Twins and Vikings retrofitted luxury suites into their stadium. They are not as nice and do not produce as much revenue. Also, there is no club seating level.) Gov. Jesse Ventura complained about the Twins and Vikings demanding a new stadium, and he left office back in 2003.

Target Field's budget is $522 million. The Minnesota Twins will contribute $130 million, or just under one-fourth of the projected cost. A Hennepin County sales tax is producing most of the taxpayer revenue.

The Twins managed to extract a new stadium out of the taxpayers, but they couldn't shaft the taxpayers for an additional $100 million for a retractable dome. (The Metrodome was also built on the cheap.) How does a $522 ballpark not have a roof? Does the budget include fur coats for the construction workers? So Target Field is going to be an outdoor stadium. Big mistake. Outdoor baseball in Minneapolis in April, May and September? With most of those games at night? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It could be in the 30's. Almost every night. Games will be snowed out every season. Are Twins fans ready for this?

Here's what I would have done if I were the Twins' owners, the Pohlad family, and $100 million short. Well, since I'm worth several billion dollars, I would just kick in the extra $100 mil myself. Otherwise, I would build the ballpark with a retractable roof in mind so that it could be added once the financing became available. I would enclose and heat the concourses so fans have a place to take breaks from shivering in their seats. And I would hold games before May 15 in the Metrodome until the City of Minneapolis decides to blow it up to build a new retractable-dome football stadium for the Vikings. The Vikings are begging for fans to pay for it on their stadium website.

I don't like fans being insulted. Here are situations in which I believe teams insult fans:
$8 beer, every NFL stadium
$23 parking, White Sox
forcing fans to pay top dollar to watch the Cubs in that outdated dump Wrigley Field
forcing fans to sit outdoors to watch baseball in very cold-climate Minneapolis
forcing fans to put up one thin dime for stadiums to be enjoyed by wealthy owners and players, with ticket prices that are typically too expensive for most fans

I wish the people of Minneapolis had told their county legislators, "Don't give the Twins a new ballpark. But if you do, make sure it's warm inside." The Twins are going to end up with a lot of empty seats--fans watching on tv--until first-pitch temperatures rise above 60.