"Raise their taxes to save my job!"

I would be amused by government employees clamoring for yet another Illinois tax increase if their influence weren’t so strong. It wasn’t so long ago that I engaged in heated debates on Facebook with government employees and employees of organizations dependent on government funding. They desperately implored their friends to contact their representatives in Springfield to support the income tax increase. (As far as I can tell, our representatives in Springfield love tax increases.) Michael Medved put it best this week in commenting on pro-tax demonstrators:

Their presence highlighted the danger of constantly swelling government payrolls: the more people get hired by government, the more people will demand raising taxes on others to protect their own jobs, salaries and benefits. The idea that pro-tax demonstrators are more idealistic or selfless than the anti-tax crowd is, simply, laughable.

Facebook rules from the 1950's

Very cute.

The Dark Side of the Stimulus Package

Thanks to my friend Dan for posting this on his Facebook page.

Facebook in real life

Apparently FB doesn't like this video on its website. Quel dommage.

Stop me before I send another to De-Friend mode

I'm on a roll.

It happened again.

Granted, this was my fault. A friend sent me a Facebook Group invite for "No Dibs," a group he started. We are both against putting furniture out to lay "dibs" to cleared parking spaces on Chicago streets. We believe it is selfish and un-neighborly. It is also illegal. That is not an opinion; that is Chicago law, that putting private property in the public way is an obstruction.

As a side note, I drove to said friend's home Jan. 16, about 15 minutes before candle-lighting. There was no time to spare in terms of searching for a parking space. His block usually has a number of spots available, even at peak times like late at night or just before shabbos. But on Jan. 16, all the spots were taken--either cars or dibs furniture. I had to park around the corner and drag all my shabbos stuff to his place, even though there were several parking spaces available right in front. Taking furniture off the street and parking there incurs the risk of vandalism to one's vehicle and/or physical attack. What nice neighbors! So not a good idea.

So my friend started a Facebook Group, and in the Group credo or introduction, he used language that wasn't very nice, such as "greedy jerks" to refer to people who to participate in this practice. Now, this would include many of my friends, and with that in mind, I should have suggested to my friend that he reword the introduction to make it "pareve" rather than provocative. Instead, I sent the Group invitation to three dozen people. I guess I should have considered myself lucky that only one person responded in kind, i.e., rather rudely. He wrote on my Facebook Wall--visible to all my Friends--if I didn't like this particular tradition, I should leave the city. He added that if I take his folding chairs from his parking space, "See what you get." That sounded like a physical threat. On top of that, he De-Friended me, which prevented me from writing on his Wall in response. (Clever. I respect him for that move.) I asked him about this series of events and asked him to reconsider his De-Friend action. He responded very nicely and said he regretted the language he used, but stood by his De-Friend move. So we moved the conversation to a civil tone and departed as friends. So to speak. But not Friends.

At least he's not vegetarian. Then he would really be angry. =)

The unkindest cut of all: the De-Friend

I must be a Facebook softie. I will "confirm" people who request me as a Friend even if I barely know them or don't know them at all--if they are Friends of Friends. I practically have a minyan of People I Don't Know in New York. (I set up a separate "Friends Folder" for them called "People I Don't Know.") I have kept in my Friends cache people I don't particularly care for and people with whom I have significant disagreements. I keep in my Friends cache a woman whom I added because I thought she was someone completely different--a former synagogue member who had moved out of town. It turns out she is not that person at all but has exactly the same name. Why De-Friend her and hurt her feelings?

So it was with great sadness that I discovered someone whom I like and respect De-Friended me last weekend. I had made a Grave Error and realized it way too late--after I had already posted it. I violated what I realize now is a very hard and fast rule:

Rule #1 for dealing with vegetarians:
1. Do not ever mention in conversation a proud vegetarian's vegetarianism unless supporting her 100 percent. This applies especially to proselytizing vegetarians. If a vegetarian is proud enough of her fake meat dish that she mentions it in her Facebook status, HOLD BACK AND DON'T RESPOND. It was so tempting (okay, too tempting) to mention that I find fake meat dishes grossly unappetizing and that if she doesn't eat chicken, then there's more for me. =) And I did add the smiley to show I wasn't being nasty. Unfortunately, she didn't see it that way. Thinking later about my post, I expected her to send me a note saying, "Hey, Ken, I didn't appreciate your snide, snarky comments about my veggie chicken dish. Even though it is gross, and I grimace every time I take a bite, I'm doing my part to further animal rights worldwide. So keep your rude comments to yourself, smart-ass." Okay, the second sentence is probably overdoing it. But I expected her to retort in kind, not to De-Friend me. Isn't that the Nuclear Option? I sent her a message, not a Friend request, apologizing. No response. Now I'm even more upset because I can't follow her wedding progress if I'm no longer her Friend. I'll try to add her as a Friend as her wedding date draws closer. Maybe she'll be in a forgiving mood.

What does one say to a former Facebook Friend?

This is getting serious. I have been taken off Friends lists by four different people whose first names start with "J." Granted, I didn't know them well, but it's still somewhat disheartening, insulting, and can be the source of hurt feelings. So if I run into one of these "de-Frienders" socially again, what do I say? After all, it is possible I'll see them at a party. We have FOAF's in common (Friends of a Friend). "Hi, 'Joyce' (not her real name), nice to see you again. Oh, yes, we have met before. We were Friends on Facebook once. Then you dropped me like a rotten tomato."

I could say to myself, I hope it's not personal. Of course it's personal. It's Facebook, for heaven's sake. Like getting dumped only not so bad? I wonder if a number of Facebook members did year-end scrubs--looked through their Friends list and said, "I have no idea who this is," or, "I'm not going to see him again," or, "I don't care for this guy at all." Not sure. Any ideas?

Trib columnist Wailin Wong suggests Cyber Sabbath

http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/columnists/chi-thu-digital-life-resolutionsdec25,0,5645714.column

Or http://tiny.cc/f4zLw

"Take a Cyber Sabbath. Or as one of my friends calls it, a Cyber Shabbat. The concept is simple enough: Take the occasional day to unplug and do something radical like laundry or reading a book. No Facebook, no Twitter, no opening up my Google Reader to see which of my favorite blogs have published new posts in the last 30 minutes.
"Notice I did not include email in this pledge. I'm not superhuman. But maybe next year."

Her email: wawong@tribune.com

SuperPoke me, will you?

It's always nice to open up Facebook and see that someone wrote on my Wall, poked me, sent me a message, or commented on my status or something I posted. But the SuperPokes, throwing snowballs, movie quizzes--please understand if I don't respond in kind. I just don't have time to "Allow" a new application to access all my personal information every time I take another quiz about 80's pop culture. I feel bad, and I just want to make sure there are no hurt feelings. Please continue to express opinions regarding status and posted items. That's why they're there.

FB should fix this cont'd.

Why is the Friend being added (the “Requestee,” which apparently isn’t a word) the person expected to provide the “Friend Details”? No, FB, the person who clicked “Add Ken Salkover as a Friend” (the Requestor) should be expected to provide “Friend Details.” When I add someone who may not know me that well or may not remember me, I include a message indicating how we know each other. The “Friend Details” option would save me the trouble. Conversely (did I use that correctly?), I’ve recently received two requests from people I hardly know. One was someone I genuinely do not know (more on her in a minute), and the other was a high school classmate. The latter replied to my “I don’t know who you are” FB email message. The former did not. I added her, noticed we had no Friends in common, and “Remove[d] as a Friend” a few days later. Then she requested me again! I told her again, “I don’t know who you are.” No reply. She would only say she lives in Virginia, further indicating we would seem to have no connection. (If she had said, “Hey, you’re hot, I’m adding you,” I’d understand. Right.) There’s no way to “Request Friend Details” to the Friend Requestor. There should be.

FB should fix this

It’s difficult to tell when someone denies a Friend request. Obviously, it’s not appropriate for the Profile or News Feed announcement—how embarrassing! But it should show up as a private Notification because it’s better to know than be kept in the dark. Sometimes people sit on the requests for weeks (still waiting, Jim) and others reply right away. Also, there should be an option for “reason for rejection.” I’m going to use “Shira Stein” as an example. I just made up that name.
“Shira Stein rejected your Friend request because she doesn’t know who the hell you are.”
“Shira Stein rejected your Friend request because she thinks you want to date her, and she’s SO not interested.”
“Shira Stein rejected your Friend request because she didn’t like you back in high school/college, and doesn’t see why she should be your Friend now.”
“Shira Stein rejected your Friend request because she didn’t like the (wall/info/photos) part of your profile.”
FB should also offer the option of adding something snarky like “Beeyotch.”
The unkindest cut of all, of course, is being un-Friended (de-Friended?) after being Friends with someone. There should be an explanation with that, too, although it’s often obvious to the Un-Friendee.