The unkindest cut of all: the De-Friend

I must be a Facebook softie. I will "confirm" people who request me as a Friend even if I barely know them or don't know them at all--if they are Friends of Friends. I practically have a minyan of People I Don't Know in New York. (I set up a separate "Friends Folder" for them called "People I Don't Know.") I have kept in my Friends cache people I don't particularly care for and people with whom I have significant disagreements. I keep in my Friends cache a woman whom I added because I thought she was someone completely different--a former synagogue member who had moved out of town. It turns out she is not that person at all but has exactly the same name. Why De-Friend her and hurt her feelings?

So it was with great sadness that I discovered someone whom I like and respect De-Friended me last weekend. I had made a Grave Error and realized it way too late--after I had already posted it. I violated what I realize now is a very hard and fast rule:

Rule #1 for dealing with vegetarians:
1. Do not ever mention in conversation a proud vegetarian's vegetarianism unless supporting her 100 percent. This applies especially to proselytizing vegetarians. If a vegetarian is proud enough of her fake meat dish that she mentions it in her Facebook status, HOLD BACK AND DON'T RESPOND. It was so tempting (okay, too tempting) to mention that I find fake meat dishes grossly unappetizing and that if she doesn't eat chicken, then there's more for me. =) And I did add the smiley to show I wasn't being nasty. Unfortunately, she didn't see it that way. Thinking later about my post, I expected her to send me a note saying, "Hey, Ken, I didn't appreciate your snide, snarky comments about my veggie chicken dish. Even though it is gross, and I grimace every time I take a bite, I'm doing my part to further animal rights worldwide. So keep your rude comments to yourself, smart-ass." Okay, the second sentence is probably overdoing it. But I expected her to retort in kind, not to De-Friend me. Isn't that the Nuclear Option? I sent her a message, not a Friend request, apologizing. No response. Now I'm even more upset because I can't follow her wedding progress if I'm no longer her Friend. I'll try to add her as a Friend as her wedding date draws closer. Maybe she'll be in a forgiving mood.